Dog Parks?? Maybe, Maybe not.

Urban dog parks can be a real boon for many dog owners and Toronto has a number of dog off- leash areas to make use of for exercise and socialization. City of Toronto OLAs

There are considerations to keep in mind though as they are not always the utopia we envision for our pups. There are not enough of them, they are often not large enough and are not always the ideal place for YOUR dog, but given the popularity of dog parks and the number of dogs using them, here are some important tips for safe and responsible use.

PICK THE RIGHT PARK
Just because it’s the closest doesn’t make it the right one for your dog. Some dogs need a park with a small dog area, or wide open spaces, or fences or trails….take a look at the different off leash areas available to you and think about which ones may be the best solution for you and your dog. Does it have parking? Water nearby? Is it accessible if you need accommodations? What is the substrate? Is it adequately fenced for YOUR dog and their possible escape abilities?

KEEPING YOUR DOG SAFE
Educate yourself on dog body language so you can learn to read, prevent and interrupt when needed. There some great videos here:
Understanding Dog Body Language-Kristin Crestejo
Understanding Dog Body Language Part TWO- Kristin Crestejo
This channel has lots of videos of dog park ISSUES between dogs and is a very educational to watch.
Great Dog Productions: Dog Parks
One of the best BOOKS on dog body language, with amazing illustrations
Doggie Language by Lili Chin

Check the park out before entering to see who is there and how many dogs are present. Watch the owners as well. Are they paying attention and interacting with their dogs? On their phones and disconnected? Are there too many dogs? What are they all doing? Many dogs in a small space can be a huge issue, especially if there are dogs that are nervous or timid. If you are unsure, go for a leash walk instead. My local park is great, except for a dog that does NOT like mine, so if this dog and her owner are there, we go elsewhere.

Use safe equipment Metal or leather collars can be a choking hazard and can get caught up in play. Plastic buckle fabric collars or harnesses are safer and easier to remove if a dog gets it caught in their jaw. Naked is best for at home with dog friends visiting, but since they have to wear SOMETHING to the park please make sure that it is safe for rough play.

Toys can be problematic. It is best to not bring toys or limit toy play to very low traffic times with dogs YOU KNOW. Toys are pretty common at dog beaches, so if you bring one, don’t expect that it won’t get stolen at least once and yes, you may not get it back. I always bring TWO toys to the beach so there is no issue of resource guarding and if one “leaves with a friend” even temporarily, it’s not a huge loss.

RED LIGHT BEHAVIOURS
Rushing or Rolling other dogs. Polite greetings make for good play. A dog being rushed can react in a way you and your dog may regret. Rolling other dogs from across the park is pretty aggressive and not PLAY. If your dog does this they should be leashed and removed. They can seriously injure another dog or person.

Excessive chase games. The chase games can become frightening or predatory very quickly. Big dogs chasing small ones is a serious incident risk. Please do not allow chasing that involves more than one or two dogs that are not over-aroused or vastly different in size. This is really where your recall training and leave it training are safety skills. Call them out BEFORE it gets intense or do not allow it at all. My last dog would drift into her predatory chase quite easily so I greatly limited her chasing time to actual squirrels and not other dogs.

Two or more dogs on one Bullying is not uncommon, watch the body language of all the dogs involved and separate as needed. All of the dogs should be be enjoying play and it should be consensual, not forced.

Excessive humping or obsessive bothering of a specific dog. You need to remove your dog.

Gathering around the gates when other dogs/owners are trying to enter and leave. Many dogs get frustrated or stressed by the mob at the gate. Be polite and and call your dog away or go and get them. Every time. If it’s you trying to enter, WAIT until the crowd leaves or ask people to come get their dogs.

THE HUMAN PART OF THE EQUATION

Teach your dog Leave it, Drop it and a really good recall. Voice control makes everyone safer. You will need to proof it adequately so it will happen when you need it. Consult a trainer.

Pay attention at all times. Know where your dog is and what he is doing. If he is hole digging, harassing others, or just hanging out not being social especially if he’s hanging around near the entrance of the park, he needs to go for a walk or go home. Seriously, if you need to make that phonecall or play that game on your phone, you should not be walking your dog at the same time. Talking with others at the park is part of what some people like about it…but it CAN be possible to both chat and watch. Your dog is your priority.

Fill in holes, even if they are not from YOUR dog to prevent serious injury to others, both human and canine. Yes, SERIOUS injuries. I’ve seen broken legs, ankles and wrecked knees on both dogs and humans because of holes. Don’t assume it’s okay to let your dog dig and not fill it in.

Pick up after your dog. ALWAYS. Carry spare bags and urge other to do so as well. It is not simply a matter of good owner responsibility, but feces can spread disease like parvo and parasites like giardia. Also, just FYI, bagging it and then leaving it on the trail, in a tree or on a bench does NOT count. I mean it.

If your dog BITES or INJURES ANYONE (dog or human) you are responsible. End of story. There can be many reasons a dog may bite but that is not as important as ensuring the dog and human get your name and contact information. Dog parks are absolutely a “use at your own risk” environment but that does not remove YOUR responsibility if your dog injures someone else. A little nick on the ear or muzzle from an overcorrection is not a huge deal, but anything else really is. Dog Owners' Liability Act- Ontario

If your dog is BITTEN or INJURED by another dog, then that owner needs to also be responsible. The best way to ensure this is to have an onlooker ask them to TEXT or Call immediately to your phone or theirs so you have an actual, real phone number. If you are a WITNESS to something like this, be that person who helps.

Pet First Aid is THING that all dog owner’s should know. Get certified. There are several good Pet First Aid classes you can take, both in person and online.

Most importantly, know your dog. If your dog is new to you (a rescue for example), is a puppy under the age of 5.5 months, a geriatric dog, an intact male dog, fearful/shy or has injuries they are at risk in a busy dog park. If they are very reactive, have aggression or severe fear issues then a dog park is NOT FOR YOU. Parks are for ALREADY socialized and social dogs to play.

If you need private spaces Sniffspot can be very valuable, as you can rent spaces to run your dog privately or with a friend or two. Some daycares and boarding facilities in the GTA also offer rental spaces for runs. Ask around, I have gone to K925 Elite Dog Kare in Queensville a few times and Shebang loved it!

The Whole Shebang

I needed a new coworker....

I actually needed a cat, or a kitten. Before I lost Cracker in January of 2017, I had lost my Tagger cat the previous November. I wasn't ready for another dog yet, so I thought I would ask on Facebook if anyone had a kitten available. Ruckus cat was missing having a buddy. 

First comment from a friend: Jackie has a puppy. 

Well, now. WHAT PUPPY???
That was it for me. Off I went with my good friend, Etsuko (my “think-it-through” person) to visit this pup.
Shebang had been found in a ditch with her two sisters at the age of 5-5 1/2 weeks. My friend Jackie Parkin at Lifestyle Dog Training took them in. By the time I was looking for that kitten...this puppy was 4 months old and the only one left. She was perfect. She still is, even though she is not a cat. 

Shebang is a lot of different kind of work than Cracker was, she is mostly confident, free spirited and very physical. She loves to use her teeth. All this being what it is, like Cracker, she is a wonderful dog with puppies and is working to learn how to be a decoy and "new friend" dog for insecure dogs. 
 

Ruckus did eventually get a kitty for company, Mayhem. She is also perfect...

You get the animal companions you need when the time is right for lessons to be learned.
 

The Reactive Dog: Well dressed!

Reactive dogs are often a challenge for their owners to physically handle and control on walks. Many do just fine until some random bicyclist comes charging up beside them on the sidewalk (and that’s a whole other pet peeve). Suddenly they have a bucking, lunging, spinning and barking Tazmanian FDevil worthy of a Bugs Bunny Cartoon. Looney Toons is RIGHT.

Now of course, your dog cannot hear you trying to get him to calm down, to move with you or to “ Leave it” and you know you really need to get moving away from the busy street. What to do?

Well, hopefully you are working with an experienced trainer to get your understanding of skills and mechanics down and to give you tips on avoiding the meltdowns, but you also will need the right equipment to enable you to safely manage your reactive dog.

So here is a quick breakdown of recommended equipment for walking and working with your dog:

A front clip harness or one with both a front and back ring. The idea is that a leash attached to the front shifts the center of gravity back towards you when they get wound up and also gives you a pivot point in which to turn your dog around towards you and away from the trigger. Some recommended harnesses are the Freedom Harness and the Balance Harness, though I have also seen many a dog do just fine with a well fitted Aspen Pet basic H harness from a department store. It should not restrict your dog’s shoulder movement if possible.

A Martingale collar to prevent slipping out of the collar (a martingale is also known as a limited slip, half check collar) and has enough give to enable attachment of a carabiner leash combo where it is attached to both the front ring of the harness and the ring of the martingale. There are also safety straps available, which are like a mini leash with clips on both ends that attach separately to the collar and to the front of the harness. This is to prevent escape if one of the pieces of equipment fail. (Reminder to check your equipment before heading out!) Safety straps available through www.wholesomecanine.ca and Halti company makes them as well.

A head harness is also an option for control, though they need to be thoroughly conditioned so that the dog is comfortable wearing them…and to be honest many dogs never get comfortable with them and find them aversive. Like much in dog training, it depends on the dog. They can also potentially injure themselves if they are thrashing about in a reaction with tension on the leash. This is a decision that should be discussed with your trainer.

A well fitted Basket-Type Muzzle. This one item can be upsetting for some people and liberating for others. I personally think that all dogs should be acclimatized to a muzzle as there may one day be a reason to do so and usually that reason is a stressful one…and reducing the stress of a muzzling a dog who has no idea of what is happening is a good thing. You don’t HAVE to muzzle your reactive dog but if you think they are going to or have a history of biting, it protects your dog, you and others from harm. Get more information on muzzle training and fitting at www.muzzleupproject.com

Leashes. Good quality, sturdy leashes that have comfortable handles and strong attachment pieces. You can use one, connected to collar and harness together or you can use two, one on each. Many people have difficulty managing that many leashes on hand but if one is a waist leash (and it’s safe for you to use it) then you still have one hand free. I also often use double leash setups for young dogs who leash grab. But that’s a story for another day!

A treat pouch, big enough to hold a bunch of yummies. If you are working with a muzzle, a food tube or cheese strings can be a great way to get the goodies to the dog through the bars of the muzzle. Food tubes are available in Camping Supply stores and online. Silicone shampoo tubes can also be a good tube to try.

Treats. High value. Soft. Stinky. You get the idea.

Then there are the defensive tools. Those ones you may need when you see an off leash dog running up to greet/eat your dog and you have no where to go or no time to Get out of Dodge. An umbrella, Spray Shield (citronella spray), Pet Corrector (air spray), an air horn….all examples of things you could use in an emergency and all examples of things you will have to condition your dog to well in advance. You want to stop the other dog and drive it away, not traumatize your own who is worried enough, thank you very much! If you think the dog approaching is not acting aggressively you may be able to get away with just throwing a handful of treats at the approaching dog and while he’s chowing down you can turn and leave.

These are the basic tools, don’t leave your pouch at home or forget to attach the safety strap. Make it a habit to check your equipment and restock the pouch before heading out.

If you need training assistance, please contact a qualified, non punishment based trainer to help you and your dog get through the woods of reactivity. If you need support there are several good Reactive Dog groups on Facebook that are science based and very helpful.

You are not alone.

Oh, and your dog LOOKS FABULOUS.

The New Normal? Dog Parks in a COVID-19 World

In my area, the public dog park areas have been closed for almost two months due to the pandemic. I live in a pretty thickly populated (people AND dogs) area in downtown Toronto. Dog parks are pretty much the only free exercise the local dogs get unless you are lucky enough to have a back yard. It’s been a challenge for me to walk my young shepherd mix as she is go go go and I’m most definitely….not. I’m sure it’s been even harder for those that have not trained a decent loose leash or who have mobility or health issues that prevent them from doing longer walks. Add in extra stress for those that have leash reactive but social dogs. It’s been HARD.

Now, some have flouted the bylaws and still did off leash running in the city green spaces and parks, to the chagrin of the other people who do not want or need loose dogs in their faces and some have managed to “borrow” a friend’s backyard for a quick run. There are canine boarding and training places that have spaces to run in outside of the city at a nominal price, but even then if you don’t have a vehicle or the time to drive there it can mean your dog has had on leash only potty breaks and exercise for a pretty long time.

The Province just announced that during the “soft opening” of the economy dog parks will be opening up. After some worry that the City of Toronto would not concur (the city of Vaughn north of Toronto has decided to keep their parks closed to anything but walk thru and dog parks are still locked) they have announced they will allow it as of next week.

Is this a good thing? I am not sure. Maybe? Jury is out on that one.

I am torn between relief at the thought of Shebang having a run and the fear of it being a circus of clowns not following social distancing rules and crowding the parks with pent up and under-exercised maniac dogs.

It’s a recipe for aggression, injuries and the ever present soupcon of COVID-19.

I sincerely doubt the parks, or anything else, will remain open for long. My professional dog walker friends are also conflicted. Many are waiting another couple of weeks before they “open” back up for work and even then are unsure if they can manage the infection protocols necessary to maintain safety for themselves, their families and their clients while coming and going from their homes.

But, and it’s a big but, if the parks DO remain open for our dogs to go run I have a few suggestions for the dog owners to think about before lettin’ em rip.

1. Don’t take Puppies or Older Senior dogs to the park. This is a recommendation even under regular conditions, but there is likely to be a lot higher risk of injury for the first several weeks at least while everyone gets their ya yas out.

2. If YOU are a high risk individual, either for COVID-19 infection or of injuries you should also wait due to the same reasons as above. No one needs to go the emergency room with a blown out knee or broken leg right now and your dog’s freedom is not worth taking home an infection to your family.

3. Make sure your dog is mentally and physically exercised BEFORE you hit the park. Yup. I mean it. The park is no place for couch surfing dogs that have not warmed up their muscles and tired out their little brains. Eight weeks. Chances are high your dog will start a fight, run over several people or dogs AND blow a cruciate all in their first run. Don’t be that person, set your dog up to succeed.

4. Don’t stay too long. There are going to be many people wanting to run their pups and keeping the crowding down as much as possible means taking turns, not hogging the park and maintaining social distancing rules. Remember, it’s not all about YOU.

Now for the serious COVID-19 talk.

Pretend you have poop on your hands that you don’t want to get anywhere else. This is the dog version of the sticky hands analogy. Don’t touch anything and for Dog’s sake do NOT touch your face.

Take hand sanitizer. Use it frequently while there. Gloves are neither necessary nor as sanitary as one may think.

Use a doggy poop bag to open and close the gates and maybe even bring alcohol wipes to clean up the gates for others.

Don’t touch other people’s dogs if you can, as much as it’s unlikely they are fomites it is not known for sure. It’s not worth the risk to touch them or their collars and harnesses.

Bring a bag to put your leash in, don’t hang the leash on posts or leave it sitting anywhere as IT could be a potential source of infection. When you go home sanitize your leash, collar and harness, or have several and do a “clean” and “exposed” area for each for later cleaning. The same with the full poop bags, when you pick up (and you ARE PICKING UP, RIGHT???) immediately walk to the waste containers and get rid of it. It’s now a fomite because YOU touched it. Don’t leave it for anyone else.

If your dog is one who jumps on people, rushes other dogs or gets into fights do NOT TAKE YOUR DOG to the park as YOU will have to get close to others to get your dog out of there. Social distancing MEANS 6 feet at all times, masked or not. You put others at risk by coming close to get your dog. The risks are small (see the reference article links below) but it’s up to you to protect yourself and others.

IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS AT ALL: Don’t go. It’s simple, really. Your dog has gone 8 weeks or more without it and they will not DIE with out a park run. Go for a walk, play some tug, do some training or even just cuddle on the couch. If we do our part to stay safe, others will also be safe. It’s a communal effort we all need here and it’s going to be this way for a while, this “New Normal”. Be a Good Neighbour.

Stay Well. Stay Safe. Stay Sane.
https://www.sfgate.com/science/article/China-study-suggests-outdoor-transmission-of-15229649.php?fbclid=IwAR2yzSGuHPMlZPlgnILSqfXini7iajZ77HCtvchR5zgP3KRe-Vv7RC9oEFQ

https://www.nsnews.com/news/risk-of-transmitting-covid-19-outdoors-is-negligible-says-health-officer-1.24127315?fbclid=IwAR0u4MXq5I_1n8BbaebyutKdgObWMc1IadfRvIzRDvJjWC4ZR4QSyOd6KZ4

Socialization = Exposure not Interaction: Safely Socializing your Puppy

Shebang was four months old when I adopted her. So her fear response is a bit higher than would be if we had done this sort of socialization earlier in her life.

SOCIALIZATION = EXPOSURE! NOT INTERACTION

GIVEN THE CURRENT GLOBAL COVID19 PANDEMIC PLEASE APPLY SOCIAL DISTANCING AND ISOLATION PROTOCOLS TO THIS INFORMATION. EVEN IF YOU CANNOT DO THE “PLACES” PART OF THIS PROCESS YOU CAN STILL DO THE REST OF IT!

Socialization! What Does it Mean?

“Socialization” and “Socialization Period” are terms thrown around a lot with dog people; owners, breeders, veterinarians and trainers alike. Few actually know what it MEANS in both scientific and practical ways.

Socialization is EXPOSURE and HABITUATION to environment. It can be poor socialization (lack of exposure or negative exposure) or good socialization (positive exposure). These experiences or lack thereof affect future responses to novel stimuli. Poor socialization often results in what is called Neophobia, where all new things create a fear response.

The Socialization Period is the period of development in puppies from approximately 3 weeks to 16 weeks of age where the brain is developing at a rapid rate and is OPEN to learning about new experiences and processing them. The part of the Socialization Period most discussed with trainers is the time where puppies usually go home with their families, so 8 weeks until the window starts to diminish at 12.5 weeks to where the next developmental process starts to take over at about 16 weeks.

Socialization is NOT ABOUT PLAYING WITH OTHER DOGS.

Dog to dog socialization: Dog to dog socialization and exposure IS important to maintain, but this occurs mostly during the 3-8 week phase in the litter. With dam and littermates the puppy will get MOST of it’s appropriate dog manners and skills. So puppies after that age should still be interacting with other puppies and with puppy safe (which means tolerant, with good bite inhibition and good dog social skills) vaccinated adult dogs. It is imperative puppies get GOOD experiences with other dogs during these times. This does not mean the adult dog cannot correct the puppy at times, but with inhibition and intent to teach, not harm. Most puppies up until 5 months or so will have “puppy license” to behave with adult dogs differently than older pups as these dogs understand that the puppy is learning.

Puppies should not be attending dog parks. Not only is the risk of disease higher but it can only take ONE bad experience with a puppy intolerant dog or other scary event to create a fear of dogs in your puppy. Dog parks may even be a “never” for your pup. That is another blog post altogether!

So, if Socialization is NOT ABOUT DOGS what IS IT about?

It is about exposing your puppy to all the things your puppy may experience in his lifetime that you can think of. Positive exposure to people, surfaces, sounds, husbandry, places, visual experiences, etc. This can be more difficult if you live in the country versus urban life but you should consider cross exposure to things that may occur in either location. People’s lives change and a move from country to city can create a lot of new stressful experiences for a dog accustomed to a different life.

What does “Positive Exposure” mean?

It means that the exposure is minimal enough (not as loud, not as big, not as close) for the puppy to observe/experience with little to no stress or fear. If the exposure cannot be controlled as well as that, then it should be paired with good things like a favourite food or play. This minimal exposure level can then be changed to closer, louder etc but is dependent on the puppy itself and its tolerance and fear levels. Individual puppies will be bolder or more fearful depending on many factors.

What level of fear is normal?

Some startle response or hesitancy is normal and adaptive. This is what keeps animals (including humans) alive in uncertain situations. Fear itself is a normal response to things that are scary or threatening or unknown. It’s the severity of the response, length of time it takes to recover from that startle that indicates whether there is a possible problematic fear issue. Learn body language and watch your puppy for signs of discomfort or fear and make decisions about level of exposure taking cues from the puppy. Do not FORCE them to interact.

What about vaccine status and being outside?

This depends a LOT on the local disease proliferation. Different areas have different levels of parvovirus or distemper issues and it’s important to recognize this. Speak to your veterinarian about risks of disease in your area and then find a way to expose your puppy safely. Do not isolate your puppy for fear of viral contamination. Do not “wait until they have their final shots” as you will miss the entire socialization period!

 More dogs are at risk of dying for fear related behaviour issues than die from puppy diseases. Weigh the risks and do the work. Some suggestions to mitigate risk are to take the pup in a carrier or stroller, carry the puppy places, take the pup in your vehicle and sit and watch things go by, go to friend’s places to meet people etc. Much of the other work (sounds, textures and handling) can be done at home.

What sort of things does my pup need exposure to?

Some of this will depend on what your pup is going to do in in life. Sports? Work? Service dog work? Pet and companion? Therapy dog? The basics will be listed below but you can add in things that relate to the specific plans you have for your pup.

People:               

Different ethnicities, sexes and sizes and ages. People with beards, hats, sunglasses, big coats, helmets.

People using Wheelchairs, canes, crutches

People pushing baby strollers, pulling suitcases or bundle buggies, walking oddly, making noises, carrying things

People hugging or dancing with each other

On the Street:  

Cars and trucks (especially large trucks), bicycles, skateboards, joggers, running children, public transit, garbage trucks, Emergency Response Vehicles, Construction equipment, Large signs or posters, flags, dogs and other animals

Surfaces: concrete, grass, gravel, subway grates

In the Home:    

Vacuums, dropping of things, brooms, appliances, beeping sounds, hair dryers, baths and showers, thunder, fireworks, barking dogs on TV, kids playing or running, surfaces like shiny floors, electronic sounds, mailbox sounds, knocking, doorbells, crates and kennels.

Husbandry:       

Leashes, collars and harness, Coat Brushing, nail trimming, eye and ear cleaning, teeth brushing, Clipper or dremel sounds, stand for exam (mouth, ears, eyes, tail, legs, feet, abdomen) Medication dosing (eye drops and ointments, pilling, etc)

CURRENTLY SUSPENDED DUE TO CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

Places:

Veterinary Clinic (visit for cookies and say hello regularly- DO NOT PUT PUPPY ON THE FLOOR or allow it to visit other animals)
The dog groomer: If your dog will require regular visits to grooming. Ask about puppy sessions!
Pet Stores, Hardware stores and other PET FRIENDLY spaces. The No puppy on floor rule goes here too! You can use a cart or carry them.
Restaurant patios (if local laws allow)
Children’s areas of parks or local schoolyards (outside of direct area, to watch and get cookies, not to interact with the children or go into their no dog areas)
Banks and other businesses that allow dogs.

I am sure there are many more you can think of dependent on your experience and lifestyle! Be sure to socialize responsibly and with care. Along with good training your dog can be a safe, happy and well behaved member of your community!  

COPYRIGHT TAILSPIN PETWORX 2020

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A year later...

Cracker.
My girl. My sidekick. My teacher. My heart.

March 2006-Jan 30, 2017

I received a card in the mail today.  I don’t get mail much that doesn’t ask for money or announce a sale. Such is the modern communication system of texts, emails and social media that the tactile surprise of a real card is a pleasant change.

When I saw the return address, my heart made a funny little jump and a familiar feeling of tingly burning popped up between my eyes… it was from the mobile veterinary service.  They had sent me a ‘thinking of you’ card on the anniversary of them coming to my home and helping me say goodbye peacefully to my ten-and-a-half-year-old dog. What a lovely, painful and touching gesture. Damn it. I hated it and I loved it all at once.

I didn’t want a dog, really, all those years ago.

I worked with animals at Veterinary Clinic for 8 years and walked dogs for 6 without acquiring any canine roommates and that suited me. It was like having a whole bunch of dogs I could love and then give back, like a permanent doggy Auntie. It enabled me to remain somewhat detached, I guess. I had two cats I loved dearly but I kept telling myself I didn’t need a dog. Too much work, too much responsibility, too much financial stress. 

Then a friend and neighbour, who worked at the Toronto Humane Society, started talking about dogs that she met there that I should “go get”. I managed to duck the pressure for a little bit, but she was wearing me down…and then I finally admitted to myself why I was avoiding going to see these dogs.

D.D.  Named after Duran Duran my favourite pop band in High School. I was sixteen and a friend had a puppy to give away. I begged my mother for this puppy, saying I would train it, walk it and take care of it. She said yes, and I went to pick up this 3-month-old black labby type pup.

I had her for about a month when I returned home from school to find the pup gone.

“Too much work”. “Gone to the country”

Gone. Just like that. No further explanation and years later I learned that “gone to the country” was a common euphemism for dead. I have no idea whether my mother delivered that pup to a farm or not.

I didn’t want a dog. The thought was traumatic to me. Which pissed me off.  I, of course, went to THS and I got a puppy. Because if you are going to jump a trauma chasm you need to go big. I REALLY didn’t want a puppy.

Just like that.

Four and half months of age, a hound mix of some sort, inexplicably labeled as a Rottweiler mix. Hello, she was YELLOW. She sat on my lap in my friend’s car looking at me and then outside and then back to me. She chose me. I was her person. She walked into my tiny apartment, took at look at the cats, found a carpet and just settled in like she’d lived there her whole life.

Ten years later, she and I had weathered a lot. Separation anxiety, reactivity, cruciate ligament injury, rehab, chronic renal disease, a dislocated hip in the fall of 2016. Oh, and the chronic poo eating. Obsessive even. Ugh.

She had been my “learning” dog, where I learned exactly WHY punishment-based methods and being a “leader” was contraindicated. She learned clicker training and was a decoy dog. She went to seminars with me. She went on trips down east to see family. She was an EXCELLENT dog with puppies.

She had the softest ears, lab size, not like a hound but so, so soft. She had eyes that looked like there was a universe behind them. She was too long in the body and too short in the legs. She was an inveterate squirrel chaser. She loved to swim at Cherry Beach. She had the most wonderful Aroooo when she was happy and when she saw someone she really liked. You know who you are.

Her chronic kidney disease was well managed and the summer of 2016 at OVC I was told that it was unlikely that she would die of kidney disease. I was hoping to get to 13 or 14 with her. She was fit and happy. It was good news.

In late September she fell down the stairs at a client’s and suffered a traumatic dislocation of her left hip. It took them three tries to put it back into it’s socket. Ten days of being “hobbled” with her hind legs tied together and a couple of months of rehab and we were back at Cherry Beach running and playing. She had lost weight during her injury rehab…mostly muscle.

In mid January of 2017 Cracker’s kidneys went into acute kidney failure. She had contracted a severe E -Coli infection, likely from the lake water or from the puddles of poop water during a thaw. We managed to partially stabilize Cracker, so I could take her home for a few days and then I made the appointment for the mobile vet to come to my house. I was not going to have my separation anxious dog at the vet for weeks to try and save her when I knew that no matter if we get through this crisis the next one is right around the corner.

We went to Staples for biscuits and the cashiers fawned over her.  We went to Cherry Beach one more time to see all our dog and people buddies and to have pictures taken by a friend. We visited my long-term walking client and Cracker’s best doggy friend, Flint. It was a good day.

The next day, my good friend and colleague, Bev, came to be with us. The veterinarian arrived. She was lovely and kind.  It was too slow and over too soon at the same time. The sedation took quickly and with my head on her body I told her over and over again what a good dog she was. Her breathing deep and slow, so relaxed. The injection was given and then one, two, three quick breaths and she was gone. That sound of those quick breaths echoed in head for months after.

The end. No going back now. She was so still and warm. I touched her silky ears and kissed the spots on her nose. I managed to hang on until she was gone and then sobbed heavily into the thick hair on her neck until I couldn’t anymore.

 I wanted her back. I wanted to do all the things I hadn’t done and say all the things I hadn’t said. I knew it was the right decision and yet it felt all too wrong. It is wrong to lose your best friend. It is wrong to lose them early, late, for good reason or for bad. Wrong. There is no other way to say it.

My suffering began so hers could end. Repeated like a mantra. Letting her go was not wrong. It is never wrong to end suffering. I miss you my Sweet Girl.